THE SOURCE OF ALL OF MY PROBLEMS



This is the view inside my laundry room in the basement of my D.C. house. This is the source of many many issues for me over the Thanksgiving holiday. The first was a lovely little flood up through the drain hole in the floor. Luckily this time it was shower water/ washing machine water and not sewage as it was once or twice in the past. (that was when I realized that plumbers do actually deserve whatever exorbitant rate they are charging you) Gross! Anyway, after trying to put one of those Home Depot snakes down the drain, I proved myself once again to be absolutely worthless in all aspects of homeownership except for writing checks...which I always do reluctantly. It is hard for me to part with money unless I'm getting one of the following things: new shoes, clothes, jewelry, great sushi, camera equipment, computers, investments etc. etc. I really HATE spending money that literally goes right down the drain. And that's exactly where $534 went when I had to call a plumber in to fix this problem. I thought I would be done with these issues, until the plumber came up with a bunch of tree roots stuck to the rooter he had put down the drain...and some bad news. Apparently, the tree in my front yard has broken into the pipes that go from the house to the street. The roots have actually grown right through the pipes for the water and um, "fertilizer". No wonder that tree has been looking so good, bastard! Anyway, now it looks like I will have to have my entire front yard/ driveway dug up and new pipes put in. The plumber also recommended that I have the tree removed so it doesn't happen again. So, if that wasn't enough, later I got a call from a claims adjuster at State Farm who owns my Homeowner's policy. Jonathan, was it? Anyway, he gleefully tells me that he doesn't think that this sort of thing is covered by my policy since it's outside of the "dwelling". So, after many tears and an email to a lawyer friend, I'm still waiting to find out a) how much this is going to cost me AND b) who at my insurance company I will come after if they say it's not covered.

So if all of this wasn't enough. After the flooding fiasco, I realized that the heat in the house was not working. Although being a veteran of laundry room floods, I knew that the pilot light had probably just gone out. And I was right. So with the help of Lauren shining a lampshadeless lamp on the floor under the hot water heater (no we don't own a flashlight much to our father's dismay), I lit part of a Trader Joe's bag on fire and stuck it under the water heater. After a few attempts it actually did light and being cold, I turned the dial from the OFF setting, past VACATION, WARM and straight up to HOT. I wasn't messing around anymore. Then I scalded myself in the shower and decided that WARM was hot enough. Unfortunately though, the house is still cold, it has been perpetually at 65 for days now...which to me is cold. And anyone who knows me will tell you that if it's less than about 78 degrees, I'm cold.